Alas, I do miss the jowly and bellicose rampages so early in the morning but I had to take a break.  I was starting to think that maybe these guys are right after all…just kidding Dad. Well, they’re right but not that kind of right.  Also, I’m starting a new job and working on my first novel that has nothing to do with global warming or talk radio or Rush Limbaugh’s formally nicotine stained fingers.

Here’s something to think about when you aren’t listening to talk radio.  Millions of Americans listen to Rush Limbaugh and Bill, and Savage while you carefully tip toe through your herb garden, get stoned and forget to vote.

So I finally got around to tuning into the O’Reilly radio factor today. His show overlaps with Rush’s in the morning here in Portland and so I decided Rush was just going to have to sit on the bench today and rest ye ol’ jowls.

Doing a little contrasting and comparing…O’Reilly’s show is actually quite different from the solo acts of Rush and Michael Savage. He does represent himself as being “fair and balanced.” Yes, I know you liberals, just bear with me now, and conservatives take heart, I myself am trying to be fair and balanced. While I’m not saying that O’Reilly is actually fair and balanced it is noteworthy that he takes this position because as you know he doesn’t have to. Or at least I don’t think he does working for Fox and such. So he’s got this co-host named E.D. Hill on with him during the last hour of his show I guess to provide comic relief and to add that “liberal” flair in the same manner that Alan Colmes provides the “liberal” viewpoint on Fox’s Hannity and Colmes hour. But really she doesn’t say a lot. She probably is more liberal than O’Reilly but that ain’t saying much. What she does do is laugh and act like a silly intern who’s in love with her boss. (Hmm, sound familiar). Instead of countering O’Reilly with facts she just kind of pleads with him and laughs taking a “well I think I’m right” carefree attitude to the whole thing like she did today when she disagreed with O’Reilly on whether or not Sean Penn was a legitimate or illegitimate dissenter.

So O’Reilly used Bruce Springsteen and Sean Penn to demonstrate the idea of a legitimate and an illegitimate dissenter. According to O’Reilly Bruce is legit and Sean Penn is illegit. Why? What does this all mean? I don’t know. But I do know that Bruce is good because he likes cheeseburgers and the Jersey shore and Sean is bad because his father was a leftist writer, because he makes nice with the likes of Hugo Chavez and maybe even because he has a big nose. Therefore, Penn is bad. The O’Reilly logic further descends into madness. So a legitimate dissenter is a person who loves burgers and America and who is also a person who can back up their dissension with facts. An illegitimate dissenter is a person who doesn’t love burgers or America and can’t back up their statements with facts. The funny thing is that in the clips O’Reilly used neither entertainer could back up their statements with facts. So in that case, wouldn’t they both be illegitimate dissenters? Are you confused yet? I feel like I’m trying to decipher a bad paper from comp 101. Ugh. It is a scary hobby I have, delving into the brains of madmen. I’m left with one question. Is there a difference between legitimate spin and illegitimate spin?

So I finally got around to tuning into the O’Reilly radio factor today. His show overlaps with Rush’s in the morning here in Portland and so I decided Rush was just going to have to sit on the bench today and give his jowls a rest.

Doing a little contrasting and comparing…O’Reilly’s show is actually quite different from the solo acts of Rush and Michael Savage. He does represent himself as being “fair and balanced.” Yes, I know you liberals-just bear with me now-and conservatives take heart. I myself am trying to be fair and balanced. While I’m not saying that O’Reilly is indeed fair and balanced it is noteworthy that he takes this position because, as you know, he doesn’t have to. Or at least I don’t think he does but he is employed by Fox and such. So he’s got this co-host named E.D. Hill (an attractive female journalist) on with him during the last hour of his show I guess to provide comic relief and to add that “liberal” flair in the same manner that Alan Colmes provides the “liberal” viewpoint on Fox’s Hannity and Colmes hour. But really she doesn’t say a lot. She probably is more liberal than O’Reilly but that ain’t saying much. What she does do is laugh and act like a silly intern who’s in love with her boss. (Hmm, sound familiar). Instead of countering O’Reilly with facts she just kind of pleads with him and laughs taking a “well I think I’m right” carefree attitude to the whole thing like she did today when she disagreed with O’Reilly on whether or not Sean Penn was a legitimate or illegitimate dissenter. Those are his words.  Apparently, a legitimate dissenter according to O’Reilly is a person who uses facts to back up their position.  An illegitimate dissenter is a person who is an America hater and says whatever they feel like.  Okay, so today O’Reilly used Bruce Springsteen and Sean Penn to demonstrate his idea of a legitimate dissenter (Springsteen) and an illegitimate dissenter (Penn).  Now, I could sum up what both these guys said but I’m not going to frankly because I don’t remember and I didn’t write it down (that’s the problem with driving while radio listening).  But basically O’Reilly thinks Springsteen is legit because he doesn’t hate on America like he thinks Sean Penn does.  I mean, come on.  Who is more American than Bruce Springsteen?  O’Reilly just really hates Sean Penn because he’s always griefing on the Bush administration, comes from a long line of leftists, he’s always sticking his big nose in places like the Katrina aftermath, Iraq, Venezuela, etc. and he’s always coming to same conclusion and that is that America is often wrong and screwed up and he’s always very vocal about his opinion like he was just recently on the David Letterman show.  Apparently Penn just made a little visit with Hugo Chavez and so whatever your position on celebs doing politics (I think it’s annoying but inevitable personally) is that Sean Penn is a controversial loudmouth who happens to be liberal and that is why Bill O’Reilly can’t stand him.  And because according to O’Reilly Penn doesn’t back up his statements with facts.

This is a good example of spin on the “No Spin Zone.”  If O’Reilly really tried he could’ve come up with a clip of Sean Penn sounding pretty reasonably fact-based.  Instead, he takes a clip from David Letterman (an entertainment program) that makes Penn sound kind of dumb and uninformed.  So maybe he is, maybe he isn’t.  What’s this whole business of legitimate dissent and illegitimate dissent anyway?  In my view, as long as you have an American birth certificate your dissent is legitimate.  No Spin Zone my ass.  But there I go voicing my opinion.  Oh right.  This is my blog.

So I’ve been trying to come to terms with the BBC’s call in show “World Have Your Say.” If you’ve read this blog at all you may have run into my snarky raging post about how crappy this program is. I still feel that way about this show in general but I’ve been giving it another chance and expecting less–a lot less–from the program and so I have this to say right now–

It still doesn’t do much for me. First, I still feel like I’m sitting in a college classroom listening to annoying people who talk just to talk. Also, frankly it’s hard to understand what a lot of the callers are actually saying because they either don’t speak English very well or the connection is poor or their accents are too thick. Nothing actually wrong with having a world forum in which to discuss world problems but is it good journalism when you can hardly understand what is being said? I’ve been tuning into this show pretty regularly now since it first starting airing in Portland this year and I find that this is a regular problem.

Another big problem I’ve noticed is that the hosts (and often there is more than one host taking any single call) often lose control over the subject material while they are trying to juggle multiple callers from multiple countries speaking multiple languages while talking over one another. Now I’ve got a pretty good ear but this is just silly. It’s no surprise that a lot of people use these kinds of shows to voice their own concerns and platforms but the hosts have got to keep things under control. It’s almost like they’re afraid to cut any off because they might seem too harsh.

I think this show sounds better on paper than it does on the air. It is informative and fun to be able to talk with people halfway across the world but it really needs to be cleaned up. It’s way too nice and nice doesn’t really work on the radio. And what is up with the cheesy British Dr. Who-esque opening music?

I’m having one of those generic, bland, dull days listening to conservative talk radio.  I’m not laughing, I’m not crying, I’m not angry, I’m not even slightly peeved.  Frankly, I’m just kind of bored and at a loss about the whole global warming denial syndrome, or GWDS.  Rush is especially deft at denial.  I know, he’s just a big old windbag and I’m sure in his heart of hearts late at night during the witching hour when all is quiet on his Palm Beach estate he wonders if indeed, his butter is melting on his toast at a faster rate than years past.  But even if he does have his doubts he can’t express this.  He has decided that global warming is not science.  It is liberal propaganda concocted by the likes of Al Gore and George Soros to further their careers and keep us terrified with liberal fear mongering. (That is what he says, not me).  Sigh.  Maybe it’s time for me to switch gears.  I’ve been tuning into Mike Savage and Rush because it’s convenient for me during the day, but you know what?  I haven’t been doing my homework and that is probably why I’m bored.  Maybe I need to set my sights on the old Leprechan, Bill O’Reily.  I’ll have to wake up earlier though and that could be a problem.

Any requests?

So O.J.’s in trouble again, big surprise.  A little older, a little less wiser.  I missed Rush this morning so I wasn’t able to hear his jowly booming tenor but I did manage to read the transcript on the O.J. arrest after surfing over to his website.  I enjoy the confused and irritated glances I get from the regulars at Crema  (my local coffee shop) when I download the Rush Limbaugh website.   I can just image the bewilderment running through these concerned liberal brains, “But she doesn’t look like a conservative lunatic…”  Anyway, I digress.  So the gravy is this.  Rush personally appealed to O.J. and offered his suggestion for a defense by saying that O.J. call it cultural.  It’s a cultural thing, you know, waving guns around at people.   Ha ha,  Rush made a funny.  Actually, I thought it was kinda funny.  Does that make me  a conservative asshole?  Well, I’m not!  Really.

Yesterday I tuned into the Savage Nation after taking the rest of the summer off from my little blog project here only to hear Mike Savage politely introducing Ralph Nader with respect and humility and I have to say I was pretty blown away. Has our political environment become so polarized that the extreme left and the extreme right are now close enough to hold hands?

It’s interesting to note that Nader was on the Savage Nation promoting his new memoir and not necessarily invited to discuss politics although they did talk a little about how they agreed that having Mexican trucking companies gaining access to U.S. highways is a bad idea. They also briefly commiserated on the fact that a third party is distinctly lacking from American politics. None of this was a surprise to me knowing Savage’s libertarian leanings and Nader’s Green Party affiliation (which Savage admitting having “problems” with in an uncharacteristically non-confrontational manner for a man who regular uses the term “verminous liberal scum”).

Being a person who enjoys all things strange this broadcast was truly bizarre for several reasons. First, why was Nader on the show in the first place? Can you think of any Nader supporter that regularly listens to the Savage Nation? Can you think of any Savage listener that takes Nader seriously? What made Savage hold back any critique of Nader and his left-wing politics? Not only was he just super nice to the old bachelor he praised his efforts in consumer rights and for being a man of integrity. And what about Ralph? Does he know who Mike Savage is? Does he know that his millions of listeners deplore all things liberal? Are these two men just dedicated to self-promotion to the extent that they can put aside their political differences just to get themselves heard? Or is something weirder going on? Has corporate America made everyone so sick that even mortal enemies can come together in order to spear the beast? Stranger things have happened for sure.

Do you remember way back when you were in college and you were forced to take that stupid senior seminar class in order to graduate? Remember it really didn’t have much point except to force you into class with people you hadn’t seen in four years just to discuss irrelevant politically correct bullshit? Remember that girl from that class who doesn’t ever shut up and she just keeps talking and offering her unending sermon on how the world is just so unfair and how everyone needs a break and how if everyone just spent a month hand feeding starving babies in Uganda like she did last semester that the world would be a better place? Well, in case you’ve forgotten how craptastic that class was tune into the BBC’s “World have your say.” Not every city in the US is graced with this waste of bandwidth-but Portland is! Yeah!

Now why would a respectable news organization like BBC numb my brain with over-excited, comically British hosts discussing the recent cock-fighting ban in Louisiana?! Big world news item, folks. Move over Iraq and Osama-we gots us a big story here! But it’s not just a story, folks. We got Johnny-two-teeth straight outta the bayou and he’s mad as hell that his cocks got done and banned and we got Ronny-do-gooder from the big city who thinks chickens should have equal rights and they’re gonna go at it on international radio and we’re gonna show the world how America’s talking about chickens with knives strapped to their ankles while the rest of the world goes to hell!

Normally I’m immune to conspiracy theories, but I wouldn’t be surprised to find out if Hamas had orchestrated this entire broadcast…and liberals wonder why conservatives make fun of them…

Even Savage has his quiet days. Even Savage gets tired of being savage-he simply didn’t want to discuss politics. So in between railing against Allen Ginsberg (aka the devil!) and his nostalgia for Italian cooking served by little old Italian ladies in black Savage made the hilarious analogy that Republicans (and Democrats he added later) are like a bad Chinese restaurant where you get overcharged for crappy service-where the quality of the food just keeps going down and the price just keeps going up. Out of habit you keep going back and you want to believe that it’s going to be good but you inevitably end up disappointed. Are humans fundamentally positive or just foolish? Hmmm. I think I’m going to order some take out…

Reinvigorated and all fired up from a week of silence, Michael Savage has been born again. According to our favorite commie pinko turned right winger Michael has a new one man mission and that is to save our Marines from being prosecuted for war crimes in the Haditha incident. (Talk about a martyr complex). Apparently our boys may be up for murder charges which would carry the death penalty and that doesn’t sit right in Michael’s gut. (Maybe he took the wrong combination of herbal remedies over his break). So if you still want to talk about immigration you better swing on over to Rush and the big O’ since Savage has personally taken on the mission of saving these boys after having been enlightened during a viewing of the Kirk Douglas movie Paths of Glory–a movie about the corruption of high level officers during WWI.

There is always an innocent involved on right wing radio. It’s either the 40 million aborted babies who could’ve have been productive citizens by now (Rush, Dr. Laura) or innocent soldiers being framed and set up by corrupt journalists and high ranking military officers more interested in furthering their careers than serving their men and their country (Savage). It never occurs to them that maybe we’re all screwed up. Well, that’s my dose of cynicism for the day.